Wooing Miss Redwood
by suburbantimewaster
Summary: When the Once-ler meets a cute waitress in Truffula Forest, he wants nothing more than to win her heart. Unfortunately, no woman would ever want him. At least that's what his mother always said. Does Once-ler have a chance with her, or is Mia Redwood out of his league? One-shot requested by artycomicfangirl. Mia is hers.


A/N: Requested by artycomicfangirl. I don't own anything in this fanfic. The Lorax belongs to Dr. Seuss and Illumination and Mia belongs to the fanfic author who requested it. I never took on someone else's OC, so here's to hoping I get it right.

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><p>"Mia," Once-ler said dreamily as he walked the streets of Greenville thinking of the blonde haired blue eyed beauty.<p>

He'd been hypnotized by that waitress since the day he saw her in Truffula forest wearing her green dress and blue scarf. She was the only one on his side when he chopped down the tree and the only one in Greenville who treated him with kindness. Mia was everything Once-ler wanted in a woman. Only problem was Once-ler wasn't what anyone would want in a man.

He remembered when he was in high school and asked Isabella for advice about women and what she would always say.

"Oncie, you're far too skinny and way too feminine for any girl to look at you and the only way you'll ever be touched by one is if you pay for a prostitute."

Once-ler did get options in high school but those girls never even touched him. They just wanted him to do their homework for them and the relationships, if you could even call them that, ended without even a peck on the cheek. There was no way a woman like Mia would even look at a man like Once-ler. It wasn't until Once-ler came across a clothes store with a muscle suit and shirt displayed on the window that he got an idea.

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><p>The cafe where Mia worked was filled with wooden tables and white fluffy chairs. Two stands rested on each end with sugar, cream and various other ingredients resting on each one. Giant windows surrounded the place with the exception of the curvy and grainy wall that could also be used as a bench for tables resting on it. The place was lit up with warm lighting that originated from the ceiling in the form of black cages that looked like giant coffee grains.<p>

"Here's your latte, please enjoy your stay," Mia said with a smile on her face as she gave the steaming hot mug to a seated customer.

Mia heard the door opening and turned to see Once-ler walking into the cafe and couldn't help but notice that there was something different about him.

"Hey, Mia," Once-ler greeted while flexing his strong muscles. Wait a minute, since when was Once-ler buff? And was he wearing a wife-beater?

"Once-ler?" Mia asked, eyes widening as she tried to comprehend what was going on. "Since when were you muscular?"

"I've always been buff," Once-ler said with an air of confidence that made Mia wonder if she should laugh on this ridiculous situation or consider this the first sign that the pod people were invading. "I just haven't dressed to show it."

Once-ler yawned and stretched his arms up to the air as the muscles slid down to reveal his skinny arms.

"Oh, it's one of those muscle shirts," Mia said laughing. "I've heard about those."

Once-ler's face flushed a deep red as he practically dashed out of the cafe like the road runner evading yet another one of Wile E. Coyote's traps.

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><p>Well, that was a bust. Instead of Mia finally noticing him, she only laughed at him. If it weren't for that yawn, Mia would've been impressed. Once-ler mentally slapped himself. Okay, so the muscle shirt and wife-beater didn't work out like he thought it would. He just needed to come up with a new plan. As soon he saw a handsome and confident blonde guy talking up a pretty brunette flower saleswoman he knew what to do next.<p>

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><p>Mia was cleaning the wooden counter at the cafe while still in a state of confusion. What was wrong with Once-ler? He was always so sweet, dopey and also kind of cute. Now he was acting like Mr. Macho Tough Guy. It was a little off-putting, to say the least.<p>

Then Once-ler walked back into the cafe with his old white long-sleeved shirt, gray vest, gray and light gray striped pants, gray fedora and his gray boots. Mia was pleased to see that Once-ler was back to his skinny self and not wearing that ridiculous muscle shirt anymore. Her happiness was short-lived when Once-ler leaned his right elbow on the counter and rested his chin on the palm of his hand.

"Hey, Babe," Once-ler said in a deep voice and a confident grin.

"Once-ler?" Mia said with her eyes blinking as she tried to comprehend this. "Is there something wrong?"

"Everything's fine when I'm looking at you, Babe," Once-ler said with that same ridiculous voice and pointing his index finger at her.

"Ooookay," Mia said confused as she tilted her head up to meet Once-ler's eyes. "Do you want anything?"

"How about an espresso to go, Babe?" Once-ler ordered with that same confident look that just made him look ridiculous.

"You hate espressos," Mia told him.

"You kidding? I love them!" Once-ler insisted.

"All right, but they're a little bitter," Mia told him as she put a paper cup on the espresso machine sitting on the counter behind her. "Way more than hot chocolate."

"A real man drinks espresso!"

Maybe the pod people have invaded and Once-ler was the first person abducted. Or maybe it was code for, "Help, there's a fugitive hiding at my cottage that's threatened to kill me if I don't assist him!" Either way sounded highly possible to Mia.

Once-ler took a sip out of his cup. "Owww!" he screamed as he dropped the paper cup on the floor, spilling espresso all over it.

"Are you all right?" Mia asked as she gazed at Once-ler holding his hand on his upper lip.

Once-ler laughed nervously. "Just fine, guess I should've waited for it to cool down a bit," he said as the expression on his face told her exactly what he thought of the espresso's sour taste.

Mia rolled her eyes. "I told you to get the hot chocolate," Mia said.

Once-ler removed his hand off his lip. "Yeah, sorry about that," he said apologetically and, for a moment, it looked like the old Once-ler was coming back. "So, Babe, I was thinking that you and I can go to the art gallery on the street corner as soon as you get off work."

Then he was back to acting like Mr. Confident Playboy again. Did Once-ler have a serious bipolar disorder?

"Sure," Mia said with a confused smile as she got back to work.

She wanted to go to the art gallery for a while and she was hoping that she could pinpoint just what was wrong with Once-ler.

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><p>Once-ler left the cafe overjoyed. He finally asked Mia out and she actually said yes! Even if Mia looked a little off-put by his behavior. Well, he must have been doing something right. Now all he needed was to show Mia his knowledge of art and she'd be his girlfriend. Once-ler's face fell as he remembered one little thing. He didn't have any knowledge of art. Well, he could always improvise. Not like Mia would be able to tell.<p>

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><p>Mia and Once-ler travelled around the white walls of the art gallery with various paintings decorating each one. It was fun looking at all the different paintings. At least, it would be if Once-ler didn't insist on playing tour guide. He described every painting and their meaning in vivid detail and anyone with a basic knowledge in art could tell that he had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. Then they came across the scream.<p>

"This weird deformed guy is screaming because he's lost and doesn't know which way to go," Once-ler explained smugly.

"Actually, I think that painting's supposed to represent the sun disappearing into the clouds," Mia suggested.

Once-ler laughed. "Mia, why don't you leave art to the experts?" Once-ler said in that same infuriating tone.

Mia had enough. "Once-ler, can I talk to you alone?" she asked him, trying to keep her anger at bay.

"Sure, Babe," Once-ler said as Mia led him to the co-ed bathroom.

"Once-ler, what is wrong with you?" Mia asked infuriated.

"What do you mean?" Once-ler asked, putting his hand on his forearm nervously.

Mia crossed her arms under her chest. "You've been acting weird all day. First you wore that muscle shirt. Then you acted like Mr. Suave all day and now you're being a complete know-it-all," Mia explained.

Once-ler smiled nervously. "Don't you like it?"

Mia shook her head. "No, I want my old Once-ler back."

Once-ler gazed into Mia's eyes as what she said finally dawned on him.

"You mean, you liked me the way I was?" Once-ler asked, trying to comprehend this.

Mia put her arms to the side and grabbed Once-ler's hand. "Of course," she said reassuringly. "Why would you think that I wouldn't?"

Once-ler hung his head down shamefully. "Because I'm not what any girl would want," he explained. "I'm not into sports, I'm monstrously tall and I'm into stereo-typically girly things."

Mia put her hand on his chin and lifted his head up. "Of course a girl would want you," Mia said with a reassuring smile.

Once-ler perked up. "Really?!" Once-ler exclaimed and then blushed. "I mean, why would a girl want me?"

"Because you're sweet, sensitive, I don't have to worry about sitting through a boring football game and you know how to cook. What girl wouldn't want that?" Mia said and then found herself blushing as well. "Plus, if you don't mind me saying, you're easy on the eyes."

This only made Once-ler blush deeper as Mia's dark blue eyes gazed into his light blue ones. Mia and Once-ler's faces were closing in on each other and it seemed like they would have their first kiss until the door opened.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know this was occupied," the raven-haired woman said and was about to leave.

"No, it's all right, we were just leaving," Mia quickly told the woman as her face flushed. Once-ler and Mia left the bathroom immediately.

"Look, I'm really sorry about how I acted today," Once-ler told her as they left the art gallery.

Mia smiled. "It's all right," she said. "Just remember that who you really are is way cooler than what you pretend to be."

Once-ler laughed. "Will keep that in mind."

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><p>AN: Finally got this done. I'd like to thank Artycomicfangirl for trusting me with this request and I hope it meets with her standards. Be sure to check out her fanfic, This is Real Life. I'd also like to thank Mircosedy for beta-reading and helping me with the title and summary.


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